Giving and receiving gratitude has a scientifically proven, positive impact on wellbeing. By doing this 20-minute activity together, you can remind yourselves and each other what you are grateful for in your relationships.
The goal is to bring attention to the many different ways we support each other in our everyday lives. And to remind ourselves and each other that we all have something valuable to give.
INSTRUCTIONS
1. Take a piece of paper and trace your left and right hands on it.
2. In the 5 fingers of one hand, write or draw people, places, things or experiences that have given you strength and support.
3. In the 5 fingers of the other hand, write or draw things that you do for others. Small gestures of support count, like giving people a smile when you’re out on the street!
4. When you have filled each finger, take a moment to look at everything you have collected. Then draw or write any helpful ideas that come to mind in the palms of the hands.
The goal is to bring attention to the many different ways we support each other in our everyday lives. And to remind ourselves and each other that we all have something valuable to give.
WHY IT WORKS:
Knowing that we are able to help others gives us a sense of control, and feeling supported helps us feel safe. The positive effect of intentionally practicing gratitude for the care that we give and receive from each other goes beyond the present moment. Studies on practicing gratitude in close relationships also show that making a habit of this can make it easier to talk about what isn’t going well. Strong relationships are about more than harmony and happiness; they’re also about being able to manage conflicts!
WHAT DO YOU NOTICE?
When we think and talk about things that help us, we often become aware of a physical sense of wellbeing: Maybe your breathing changed, maybe your head felt clearer, maybe your muscles relaxed a bit?
Quite often, this is also reflected in our connections to each other: Maybe you smiled at each other, or laughed together?
Make it a habit: practicing gratitude together boosts wellbeing and strengthens relationships!
Watch how it’s done! (in German)
Sources:
Lambert, M. & Fincham, F.. Expressing Gratitude to a Partner Leads to More Relationship Maintenance. In: Emotion 11(1):52-60, February 2011. DOI: 10.1037/a0021557
Emmons, R. & McCullough, M.. Counting Blessings Versus Burdens: An Experimental Investigation of Gratitude and Subjective Well-Being in Daily Life. In: Journal of Personality and Social Psychology . 2003 Feb;84(2):377-89. doi: 10.1037//0022-3514.84.2.377.
Daisuke Hori, Shinichiro Sasahara, Shotaro Doki, Yuichi Oi & Ichiyo Matsuzaki. Prefrontal activation while listening to a letter of gratitude read aloud by a coworker face-to-face: A NIRS study. In: PLoS One. 2020 Sep 8;15(9):e0238715. doi: 10.1371/journal.pone.0238715.